There are so many ways to communicate how you are feeling without ever using words. Toddlers may throw a tantrum, preschoolers stick out their bottom lip, and teenagers will roll their eyes.

Adults also communicate without using words. If you are unsure what this means, walk into a gym and watch the coach. You might see arms thrown up in the air on a missed travel call. You could see the dramatic eye roll that makes a coach turn his or her whole body around. Coaches may abruptly sit down, cross their arms, or do the death stare. Football coaches may take off the headset or walk away from the team.

The next game you attend, watch the coach, and watch the reaction of those people around the coach. Watch the crowd react. Maybe even the players on the field or court will start complaining. The ripple effect is huge. And while that was only one call by the referee, imagine what a gym will be like if there is a dramatic reaction by the coach 10 times per half.

For the most part, coaches who have dramatic body language are not necessarily bad coaches. In fact, some coaches may not even know they are doing it. However, body language affects a game atmosphere tremendously. It can escalate quickly and many times one action feeds into other actions. When a coach is dramatic with arms up in the air, every player sees it. Every parent sees it. Every fan sees it. The feeling is the coach saw something that the official did not. Now the players and crowd begin to watch the coach to see when and how they should react. An administrator trying to improve parents’ sportsmanship may need to look at the big picture and start with the coach.

As an administrator, the best way to bring attention to this is through video. Record your coach throughout the game. Highlight the coach’s reaction to a call, then the reaction of the crowd. Zoom in on players’ faces and how they are watching their coach. Conversations must continue until the coach owns the behavior. If the coach continues to offer reasons or excuses for the behavior, that is a red flag and there may be bigger problems to discuss.

Also, along with showing video to the coach, show examples of coaches who smile, clap or do not react. When a coach is in control, the players are more relaxed and the atmosphere in the gym is enjoyable. Provide solutions to help coaches be more in control of their own actions. A coach who smiles and greets players off the court and talks to players has better results.

Thinking outside the box for solutions may be exactly what is needed. A coach who is receptive to improvement will make huge gains. The goal is to channel the coach’s passion in different ways. Brainstorm with the coaching staff for some ideas:

• Coaches could hold something in their hands – something mindful, like a towel, but probably not a clipboard in the sense it breaks or gets used as a clapping pad.
• Coaches could have candy on the bench. Maybe a LaffyTaffy to read a joke and eat it, so it can snap them out of the path they are on.
• Have an assistant coach say a code word or phrase such as “tag you’re it.” This will make a coach think, look at the assistant, and smile - something to disrupt the train of thought.
• When teams don’t run the play intended, maybe that is the time for coaches to tie their shoes, counting and breathing as they do it.
• Have a statistician or manager show the coach a sign on the clipboard (or ipad) that says “smile” each time the coach does a whole body eyeroll and faces the crowd. The coach will see it and understand why it is there.
• The coach could have a paperclip or some other item in the pocket and hold that as a way to release some extra energy.
• Have a spouse or close friend hold up a card that is either red or green. Most coaches know where their significant other is sitting and glances a look from time to time.
• Have the coach dress in layers. The action of removing a sweater or vest should be smooth and calm. The action of doing something that makes the coach feel better physically will benefit the situation.
• Have an assistant coach or friend hold the coach accountable for actions. This may be at halftime, after the game, mid-game if the opportunity allows without making a scene (at least not a bigger scene than what the coach is making).
• The coach can chew on a lollipop to help control and focus on the players and not the officials.
• Have the last player on the bench rate the coach on behavior each evening. The coach can check in with the player at halftime. The bench players see it all and are amazing observers.
• At certain moments during the game, an assistant coach will give the coach an ice pack to “cool down.”

So often, a coach’s dramatic performance is out of frustration, but the sophomore starter thinks he caused the reaction when he fouled. The key point to stress is, “What is the message the players are getting?” Do they think the coach is disappointed in them? In reality the coach knew he should have drawn up a different play. A coach’s body language creates a chain reaction. It is so important to work on the message the chain reaction is sending to players, parents and fans. Improvement by coaches does not go unnoticed. Players strive for improvement every game, as should the coach.