How do we define success? Most people would define it using a monetary amount. Why? The answer is rather simple. As a society, we have come to measure success based on money and possessions. By nature, we as humans are competitive and we want more. We want a higher income, we want more clothes, cars, bigger house, toys and, most importantly, we want others to view us as being successful. We compete with our neighbors and friends. Somehow having more than our peers gives us a sense of accomplishment. This mindset relates directly to what is taking place in coaching athletics across our country today.

The great coach George Raveling said, “We have become intoxicated by working for the sake of working.” This mindset persists in the world of coaching, especially in football. In coaching, how do we measure success? Most would say wins and losses. However, the culture of high school athletics and coaching seems to have shifted. Today’s coaches work just to work.

It seems as if coaches are doing things just to make it appear as if they are outworking their opponents. Where does this come from? Perhaps, it comes from our country’s passion with the modern National Football League. A popular topic of discussion is how NFL coaches work 18-20 hour days, sleep on office beds, and rarely spend evenings at home with their family. What happens is a trickle-down effect at the high school and youth levels. Coaches want personal glory rather than what is best for kids. They view themselves through the lenses of others rather than through inner peace. Coaches let their own ambitions get in the way of what the true goals should be.

Some high school coaches are trying to run a collegiate type of program at the high school level. This is not isolated to one school, program, county or state. This is a national trend, which is alarming. Some programs in football and basketball forget that these are kids and sometimes they need to be just kids.

Football for example, has become a six-day-a-week job for high school student-athletes. Saturday morning film and lifting sessions are now the norm. Oftentimes, teams will have a Sunday walk-through or, at the least, coaches will leave their families for a couple of hours to work on a game plan. This is a sharp contrast to my high school playing days. Our team only had weekend practices before playoff games, which were played on Mondays and Wednesdays. We were 30-5 during my sophomore through senior years, and went 12-1 during my senior year. This is proof that you do not have to do “work” just to work to have success as many coaches today do.

Fortunately, it does not have to be this way. My rule with my teams is don’t complain unless you can present two possible solutions. So here are solutions and goals that should be taught and emphasized within our programs.

First and foremost, you must have a philosophy that you absolutely believe in. This will allow you to narrow your focus, have clear goals and expectations. It must be people-oriented since you are dealing with people on a daily basis.

Second, coaches need to be role models. They need to model how they want their athletes to behave. Our society desperately needs positive male role models and many of our athletes need father figures in their lives. What does it say to them if we cut out precious family time on weekends to put in more time at school to get that win next week? Does this make us good husbands, wives, fathers or mothers? Our families and our children suffer as a result. Our athletes need to see and know that our families are most important to us, because in the long run we should care more about who they become as fathers/husbands and mothers /wives than who they are now as athletes.

Coaches need to focus on creating a positive culture that is organized, detailed, fundamentally sound, with a collective buy-in from all coaches and athletes in the program. When this occurs, a powerful chemistry is developed that permeates throughout a program and into its community. Winning will no doubt follow.

Many great resources are available for coaches today. Using social media, such as Twitter, is extremely valuable if used properly. Another great resource PCA, Positive Coaching Alliance. You can find them at http://www.positivecoach.org and follow them @PositiveCoachUS.

It is sad to see many coaches today have their priorities out of whack. In the end, we will not be judged by how many wins and losses we accumulate; rather it will be by the number of lives we have influenced. Our No. 1 goal should be to positively impact the lives of our students and athletes. If we keep this in mind, have a clear philosophy and are positive role models, winning will take care of itself. Always remember, kids do not care what you know until they know that you care.